Help

Feels so good,

Making and breaking.

Creating an inventory of my beliefs that stands for something in manhood.

Building on a foundation, that isn’t always taking,

Help me with the baking,

Do your best at faking,

Forget your always shaking,

Feels so painful,

Getting and getting,

Idea on top of idea, I’m feeling kinda strain full.

You can start the betting,

Stop with all the petting,

Find yourself a setting,

Feels so dead,

Dumb and numb,

In my solitude there is isolation and dread.

Will you start to hum?

Stop drinking rum.

Have yourself some fun.

Monopoly

To create and innovate is process of thinking and producing a product in a competitive market.

To escape this death by a thousand cuts you must deliver it all in a new way.

You need to be the first and therefore the best.

As a reward you win the ‘game’ and get to escape the competition to become a monopoly.

Going viral is growing vertical not being a copy cat or competitive.

To use flow as a metaphor might be useful.

All your values or fruit of your innovative and creative endeavours bind together to make you the strongest and smartest competitor with the best innovative and creative product.

Your ‘starting up’ allows you to cooperate and collaborate and think to create and innovate.

Be a lean work of art and go viral!

The Disease Called Loneliness

“Excuse me,” a young woman raises her hand on the bus. “Does anyone know when to pull the bell to get off at the mall?”

Meanwhile two other young women turn to each other with grimacing disapproval.

The individual is building self esteem and keeps low expectations.

The paired couple are attempting to discourage this young woman’s building her self-esteem.

The pattern of any person learning to get their needs meet can be taught by parents, schools, churches and by playing in other social groups.

To even make a friend is a risk many people will not do these days.

Social media and other devices are prompting people to choose a “bad behaviour over a good one”.

People prefer their smartphone to risking self esteem to pursue low expectations from social activities that are used as venues to pursuing greater expectations and greater risking of self-esteem necessary to overcome lonely feelings.

The “great debate” has yet to become public over issues of loneliness, but we can all agree it is costly and in epidemic proportions.

Take every risk presented to you, wherever you stand on the loneliness continuum to foster your subjective wellbeing!

Anxiety Of Being (the simple feeling)

Behavior is important when working through very complex parts of being human.

I am describing being able to express feelings, actions, thoughts, beliefs, and who we are on the regular basis.

A big part of being me is about knowing who I am.

There is a lot of awareness or noticing who I am to be the best I can be in the moment.

I’m not a sadist, vain, egotist, arrogant, belligerent or a bully.

But I get depressed, sad, sentimental, scared, afraid, tired, lonely, hungry (cravings, lustful, jealous, obsessive, and ashamed from time to time).

But, don’t we all.

I get happy, calm, bored, aloof, lazy, driven, motivated, anxious, lively, alert, clear, excited, sober, and abrupt.

I feel, think, accept, act, believe and maintain a decent state of awareness.

I struggle to be responsible in a balanced sort of way.

Therefore, I believe there is a great deal of anxiety generated from simple day to day struggles to maintain a healthy level of self -control.

So, I take every opportunity I can to deconstruct my state of anxiety to determine the best course in the moment.

I usually, journal, talk to myself, and think about the day.

I practice good habits each day.

A good one for my anxiety is to act on my best behavior whenever I am tired, lonely, hungry or angry.

I can usually control my feelings better by practicing good habits when my energy is high, moderate or low.

I tend to take things on when my energy is high or moderate but minimize my action when my energy is low.

I believe all my life is important in shaping me into a good life.

I believe in doing a good job with my ‘bad-self’.

I will always take care of myself, so I can live well and engage myself and others in a healthy way.

I guess I have been blessed with good people and support and a willingness to be a healthy person.

So, why all the hubbub about being ‘anxious’?

I want to embrace my anxiety and use this feeling to express self-control and doing no harm to myself and others.

I am learning to act in a responsible, loving way in all my affairs: living well is it’s own reward!

Best of luck to all those trying to do the same in their lives.

Naked Hunch

Truth is uncensured when all is said and done.

Under the covers, clothing, excuses and fabrications, there is still a layer of denial.

What of judgement, emotion, fleshy parts we play when we can’t stand it anymore?

We have a lot of pain and suffering to do in this life without the excess brutality, fear, and loathing that accounts for all the problems and mistakes that spice up every life.

At the bottom of all this we peel off layers of ourselves to reveal parts of our past selves:  the me in my 50’s, 40’s, 30’s, 20’s, 10’s, back to the beginning of me.

When I am tired, sick, alone, angry, frustrated, and ready to throw in the towel, there is just enough curiosity left in me to go looking for ‘the truth’.

I am both the proverbial cat and mouse.

I hunt down my pray (the little me or mouse).

I am so curious (cat as the preditor) about who I am.

I am so focused on ‘my truth’ that I am blind to ‘the truth’.

Yet, there it is.  Here I am.  I like to show ‘the truth’.

(The little I see of it.)

(I am only capable of seeing a little ‘truth’.

Solitude

A nature walk by any other name, but I walk the wild alone.

This place I call solitude is both a state of mind and many times I have reached and found peace while in the wild and in the state of solitude.

Like a chemical compound, one without the other are but two separate elements:  solitude plus nature equals peaceful ordinance of different observations on this state of mind.

 

‘I’ happened while running up Grouse Mountain.

Surreal was the steel cable, gondola moving overhead with people as I transfixed in my body, felt my leg being pumped continuously as the terrain seemed to pass swiftly bellow my feet.

I felt/saw an aura around me, nature and the man made gondola with its small crowd being lifted up the side of a mountain.

I felt the cool sweet air as I inhaled and exhaled in the organic way one does when they act whole and unified towards a task or goal:  running up and down Grouse Mountain.

 

On this summer’s morning, over 25 years ago, I still feel the pleasant walk along the cut line, run upon a path, and energy that allowed me to travel ‘there and back again’.

A book title comes to mind, by Isaac Asimov:  The Joy Still Felt.

I love this memory like it is still happening all these years later.

It exemplifies the wealth found in nature and solitude for me.

Solitude With Care And Attention

There are many memories I have about being solitary and yet full of sense and wonder.  I don’t consider it a bad behaviour because I write.  My care and attention to what I read and write extend to the way I live and learn.  I am just rereading Solitude and A Return To The Self.  It is described as an insight to common sense.  And this is my definition of Solitude.  It is all about slowing down to be with yourself and returning to some common sense.  Perhaps, the writing I do needs to be about this topic.  But I can see it encapsulated in books like A Man In Full by Tom Wolfe.  I highly recommend either one of these books as a stepping stone to some good solitude.

Like most people I find little time or desire to ‘gaze at my navel’.  But like most people I tend to spend many hours doing chores that afford me time to notice my personal state of mind and choices and decisions I am making on the day-to-day basis.  I think I read books like the above to add fodder to my actions (be they behaviors, feelings, thoughts, beliefs or other).  I practice using common sense but the outcomes are not always on the mark.  My mistakes are like sign posts that I notice from time to time.  In this way I can work out some of what I need to do.  I want to learn from my errors, but I trip up as much or more than everyone else.