I don’t want to appear ungrateful for all the attention I have received over my life.

But I am suspicious, bored and tired of the ordeal from time to time.

At such times I like to do my routine, rest and relax and work or play.

But I am more on a maintenance mode.

I am extraordinarily grateful for all these things, people, supportive ways and resources that allow me to heal, regroup and reconnect with community and family.

Friends are a wonder at such times.

But these negative feelings are a reflection of a harm not welcome in my life.

I am grateful to be aware of this harm to me and others.

And I will do my best to recover from it and with others who suffer.

Pain is very depressing and fatiguing but is the single most direct route through all this mess.

I must get my rest.