A Hateful Longing For Revenge

The lord of power spoke to me,

Through constant craving for more.

He said I was right.

She said I was wrong.

Neither accepted my hate or reason for revenge.

He said, to error is human…

She said, love your neighbor.

But I was hating and thinking of ways to get back at the neighbor.

A deep feeling or resentment for the humiliation, along with an overwhelming sense of pride in my ways to be in control.

All the while I felt and thought, friends would listen and let me rant and rave.

One friend reminded me of a error he made.

One friend reminded me of the love she had for her neighbor.

Slowly my pride lost its power over my reason.

My hate stopped throbbing long enough to loose some of my impulsiveness.

I started to feel some self pity.

It was a pity that liked company, but my friends would not stand for it.

They kept getting me out for walks and asking me about other experiences that showed alternates to hate and revenge.

Should I have isolated or drank a drug, I would have misbehaved in stronger ways.

There is no easy way through pain and suffering…

It takes all the friends and support I have to help me recover from the loss of sanity.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss the hate and revenge.

I can only remember a vague craving for them both.

I am grateful they don’t mean as much to me as my friends and my personal responsibilities.

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