It is possible to be so full of hate, numbness, negative emotions, that it is painful to exist.
At some point, the mental institutions, the treatments, drugs, and psychiatrist, just seem like a shame.
As a last resort, before suicide, god and spirit, there is a possibility of finding some magical person that can save your life.
If you are desperate, really trying to live, you may find a way to get off your medication and try something like alternative medicine.
There are documentaries like “The Last Shaman”.
There are people out there that believe they can help you.
Or, go find someone else.
Can you learn to control your anger?
Your parents are going to suffer when you die.
You are giving up a gift: your life.
But I hear you, no desire, no ambition, you want to die.
Are there natural medicines?
Are all the medical drugs unworthy of our use?
Some would say there is no answer.
Family and friends are hurt the most.
We need to learn how to change this for the better.
We need to find a way to help people who are sick.
After eight years, it is still going to be difficult.
Can you find a way to make it work for you?
Are you willing and able to start over?
Can you find your voice?
Can you give up the stuff that prevents you from living a good life?
Can you find community?
Are you struggling to make a difference?
Do you believe in yourself and others?
Do you see the way?
Can you play your small part?
Can you now keep your faith in yourself?
Good luck.