Saturday at 3 PM, I need to head downtown for a night of debouching and Tom Foolery.

But what shall I wear?

Out of the 350 or so guest zombies, I could dress up as a little girl zombie going to the after birthday party, after the adults finish the zombie walk from Centennial Square to the legislature grounds.

My first impression is to wear an axe between my shoulder blades, get my hair done (lots of clotting blood and sand), I may get my nails ‘split’ and have someone crack my skull. If I had just known last year I was going again this year, I may have let myself rot in a ditch somewhere or let my body bloat in a stagnant pool of water.

Anyway, I think I’ll just put on an old pair of jeans and a T-shirt. If I go over to the Neighbors for a snack, someone will stab or

poke or punch me and I’ll start to bleed or get something stuck in me.

I’ve got a two headed axe. I think I can put it between my shoulder blades before I go.

I seem to always be hungry, but I can spare some buddies blood and brain to splatter on the windows on my way through town.

(Just joking, they don’t want us to do this on the walk.)

No guns, knives, or weapons of any kind.

This years annual Zombie Walk in Downtown, Victoria, B.C., will be a hoot!

Hope to see you there: Centennial Square beside City Hall.