Giving fellatio to this guy at the bus terminal seems pornographic to me, even though it is a bit of a nightmare or dream.
I am a guy who happens to be straight, but is thinking about stuff like sex or gay sex. I admit to having a visceral reaction or being a bit homophobic to images of myself giving a stranger a 'blow job'.
A good friend of mine, who happened to be gay, use to say to me that he was vibrating, which meant he was scared and angry. Mostly, because of homophobics and arrogant mean people who would treat him like shit.
Pornography always hits me with hard gritty images of men and women or other combinations of people who are depicted in demeaning positions with fluids that look or 'drip off' onto various orifices and body parts. I'm usually 'never horny' enough to ignore the hate, angry, numb looks and fake smiles and disturbing lustful acts that run wild in these clips of vids and pics that are seen all over the internet.
I remember my best friend asking me to go with him to the 'Red Rooster', a gay club, with our girlfriends. I was in my early 20's and hadn't been exposed to a lot of the gay social scene, but my friend/social scientist thought he knew better. I guess it is good for a straight guy/couple double dating to be hit on at a gay night club in the mid 80's.
I think gay pride and pornography on the net are pretty mainstream in the late 2010's. Homophobia is still alive and needs to be outed in all its forms to make a safer place for people like my friend. I want to be a healthier sexual person like everybody else. I may not want gay sex and porn but there is room for many ways for people to express their sexuality.
I sum it up like this, I don't come from a touchy-feely family. But I am a compassionate man who believes there is room for all the curious ways people enjoy and express their sexuality in this world. I just am an advocate of consent and non-violence in the sex places around the globe.